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Consultations

In the last couple of weeks there have been many consultations with new doctors that are being added to Sid's medical team. They have all been so kind and professional. They have taken great effort to care for Sid; emotionally, physically, intellectually -  they have gone to great lengths to make sure we are ready for the fight ahead.   Because of Sid's initial Stage 4 diagnosis, surgery wasn't ever supposed to be on the table. But due to a combination of a few factors (I'm not sure I could do it justice here) they proposed trying it with this current tumor. However, the medical team is a little hesitant to just jump right into surgery. The hesitation is that if there are any lingering cancer cells floating around in the body that are not currently detected on scans, they would be doing Sid a HUGE disservice by doing surgery. If the surgery was done and the cancer were to pop up elsewhere, we wouldn't be able to jump back into chemo until Sid was fully recovered fro...
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Recent posts

Again

Again. At a checkup/routine endoscopy they found a tumor again.  Just before Christmas Sid went for his annual endoscopy. What was supposed to be a routine checkup ended up being the second time that we heard the doctors tell us that they found a mass growing in his esophagus. And with "again" comes remembering.  Remembering the agony of hearing "cancer". Remembering the worry and the fear. The panic. Remembering treatments; the heaviness in your gut and on your heart in just getting through each of those days.  Over and over again. And for quite a few days I was stuck there in the devastation.  But slowly I have remembered other things. As more of our neighbors and friends have started hearing the news, I've been reminded of better things. There are people willing and waiting to help.  So many people love our family. I can't even comprehend how so many people could care so much.  We still have each other and there are plenty of moments to see sparks of hap...
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Sunday Will Come

I had a good cry about a week ago. It's been a while since I let it all out when thinking about Sid's diagnosis. But as this day (and week) has crept closer all of the memories of this same week, last year, have come flooding back. A year ago today life shifted for us. Honestly, I feel like I've lived 6 years in the past 365 days (give or take some). There's a part of me that wants to try and explain what I was feeling and experiencing; it somehow seems significant to do so, even if just for documentation purposes. But trying to put it into words seems impossible; it's a bit too personal to lay it all out, and at some point it's only really comprehended if you're actually experiencing it. I obviously don't wish that on anyone. But even in reflecting on the gloomy and painful memories I am reminded of many kindnesses. There was, and is, a lot of support and an incredible amount of love. I do love remembering that part.  I also want to express gratitude fo...
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An Early Anniversary Gift

Sid and I got to go out for a date night tonight. While we were in the thick of the intense treatments, some amazing friends offered to watch our kids so that we could have a night with just the two of us. I'm sure they intended for us to take that time together much sooner, but we finally took them up on it and celebrated our anniversary a day early.  Dinner was exquisite and then we repeated our first date with a stroll around Utah State's campus. Happy 11 years to us! Each anniversary has been happily commemorated but we were especially grateful for this one. With that in mind, we have GREAT news/results from Sid's CT scan from last week. There were no signs of metastatic disease! In other words, there was no visible detection of cancer. Absolutely incredible. We are obviously over the moon about this. As time goes on we are understanding more and more how unexpected this was. I know I'm being a bit of a wet blanket when I say it's a little bittersweet when we kn...
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Complete Response

Last night Sid went to the Huntsman for his scheduled CT scan. This afternoon he spoke with his doctor to discuss the results. Dr. Nevala had mentioned at their last appointment that he was anticipating good things when his next CT appointment came around.  HE WAS RIGHT!!! Everything has continued to shrink; so much so that the lymph node up by his trachea hardly lit up in the scan. He is literally having a "best case scenario" response, or as Dr. Nevala put it, a complete response. In the trial study that Sid's treatment has been based off of, 11% were considered to fall into that category. If it's not broke, don't fix it. So, Sid will stay on his current treatment plan for at least the next year; chemo pills, immuno and targeted therapy infusion every 3 weeks, and regular CT and echocardiogram scans.  So many thoughts are racing through my head. Overall there's just so much gratitude. I should probably take time to more thoroughly record my thoughts somewher...
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A New Regimen

Last weekend Sid finished his last dose of Oxillaplaton. Good riddance! Thanks for your help, but we're glad to see you go.  His scans gave us great news! The cancer is still contained to the original areas and they are all shrinking! In the words of Dr. Nevela, "Your prayers are working." This coming weekend Sid will start his new regimen. It will be a combo of chemo pills and a target/immuno therapy IV infusion. The infusions are every 3 weeks now instead of every 2. The side effects are supposed to be fairly mild overall. We are so grateful for that! Sid will continue to get scans and tests regularly and adjustments will be made as necessary.  We don't have a timeline to report since it's all individually based. We know that Sid is getting the best care possible, and that's good enough for me.  Thank you for your prayers. Each time I hear my kids pray for their dad it just.... It hits home in a wonderful, meaningful way. Every single time. I hope they are l...
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Next steps

I know many of you who read these posts have diligently checked for updates over the past while. I know you worry. Thank you, for loving us that much. There hasn't been anything "new" so I didn't feel it necessary to write anything. The last treatment was hard and heavy, but that's fairly normal that each new treatment has left his body feeling the effects more severely. This Friday will be treatment #8 for Sid. As I said before, the last one was noticably more difficult than any other. So - as you can imagine - no one is really eager for this next one.  It's redeeming quality, however, is that this one is somewhat of a milestone. We were told that this one would be the last chemo that included the Oxaliplatin. This is the drug that has caused the neuropathy and cold sensitivity. With it being January in northern Utah I'm sure it comes as no surprise that Sid will be glad to be rid of it. That's really the only "sure thing" we know right now....
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