Again. At a checkup/routine endoscopy they found a tumor again.
Remembering the agony of hearing "cancer". Remembering the worry and the fear. The panic.
Remembering treatments; the heaviness in your gut and on your heart in just getting through each of those days.
Over and over again.
And for quite a few days I was stuck there in the devastation.
But slowly I have remembered other things. As more of our neighbors and friends have started hearing the news, I've been reminded of better things.
There are people willing and waiting to help.
So many people love our family. I can't even comprehend how so many people could care so much.
We still have each other and there are plenty of moments to see sparks of happiness in my day because of my little family.
My Savior still loves me and is still with me. He will continue to show His hand in the coming days. He was with us last time and He will stay with us again.
Right now there isn't much info that I can pass along here. It's the big reason I haven't said anything on here for so long. I was postponing until I had more to report, but it's at a point where it's easier to say the little I have than to continue waiting.
Sid has had a CT scan and a PET scan since the tumor was discovered. They show that there is only the one tumor in his esophagus. Great news amid the bad!
From the get-go Sid had 4 "medications" treating his cancer. Two types of chemo - the hard stuff, Oxaliplatin, and a less aggressive chemo that he has in pill form. Then he was getting a target therapy drug and an immunotherapy drug.
The target therapy is a moot point this time around. It was used because the last tumor had a specific protein present in the cells that the drug targeted. The current tumor does not have that protein, so that medication is ineffective.
This week he will go back to Salt Lake and get an infusion of the immunotherapy drug.
He is back on his chemo pills while we are waiting for a consult scheduled for next week. He won't be able to use Oxaliplatin again because he had an allergic reaction on his last treatment with it.
His oncologist has many ideas of how and what to do, but we need to get a few things figured out before we can pick a plan of action. Normally, due to the original stage 4 diagnosis, surgery isn't on the table because it's already elsewhere in the body. So removing a tumor doesn't technically solve the problem as it doesn't remove any of the rogue cancer cells. Even though his recent scans didn't show cancer anywhere else in his body, they can't rule it out because of the original stage 4 diagnosis. This time around, however, surgery is being considered. It's a grueling surgery from what we understand.
We will have a plan soon and I will share it once it's solidified. If you would like to keep updated on how things are going, please check here. I'm fairly quick to write a post once I have news to share. It is easiest to elaborate one time, in one place because it's difficult to keep track of who we have said what to, and how much.
Many have asked if there is anything they can do for us and right now we don't have any physical needs out of the ordinary. He hasn't started intensive treatments yet, but once he does things will get harder and I know I can ask for help.
In the meantime, please pray for Sid's medical team to be directed to the best option for him. They are the professionals and the ones making the decisions; we just do what we're told.
Thank you for the outpouring of love. Already we have been the beneficiaries of your thoughtfulness and kindness. Many times in just the last few weeks I've reached what I thought was my breaking point and miraculously someone is there to rescue me. Time and time again I am amazed at how aware Heavenly Father is of us, the Becksteads, because there's no other explanation of why we got the exact help we needed, right when we needed it.
I am grateful for the sustaining love of my Jesus, again and again.
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