The business and blessings of our Beckstead family.

Today we finally moved out of limbo and have a plan of action! We met with Dr. Contreras again this morning who is a thoracic surgeon at Huntsman. We really like him as a person and as a professional. We've collectively made the decision to move forward with Sid getting the surgery done. If you're curious the procedure is specifically called an Ivor Lewis Esophagectomy. This will happen on June 5th.  We were told that Sid is likely less than 1 or 2 percent of patients who have started with metastatic disease with response to treatment and now being treated as if it were a localized cancer. Sid responded that he fully attributes this to Divine intervention as a result of the many prayers said on his and our behalf. Dr. Contreras completely agreed. Truly a walking miracle.  Generally, this surgery entails removing the lower third (more or less) of his esophagus, upper section of the stomach (which will permanently reshape the stomach into a tube shape), and the surrounding lymph...

 Happy Palm Sunday. ❤️ Quite frequently in the past month I have thought "why me?".  Every time we have had someone drop off a treat or reach out with offers of service I wonder how we could possibly warrant this much love and attention.  Why me? Why us? We're just the Becksteads.  Why do I get to know so many people willing to give, love, and serve us so generously? I feel so undeserving of the care we regularly receive. Thousands of years ago on the first Palm Sunday, Christ boldly rode into Jerusalem in open proclamation of his Messianic role. He knew the unrest this would create and what it would eventually lead to. And in the spirit of this special Sabbath, the same recurring question circling my mind could be asked of the Savior, "Why me?".  Why did you willingly suffer for me? Why did you give your life, in a most agonizing way, for me? Ultimately, it's not about being deserving or worthy. It's about love.  "I marvel that he would descend fro...

In the last couple of weeks there have been many consultations with new doctors that are being added to Sid's medical team. They have all been so kind and professional. They have taken great effort to care for Sid; emotionally, physically, intellectually -  they have gone to great lengths to make sure we are ready for the fight ahead.   Because of Sid's initial Stage 4 diagnosis, surgery wasn't ever supposed to be on the table. But due to a combination of a few factors (I'm not sure I could do it justice here) they proposed trying it with this current tumor. However, the medical team is a little hesitant to just jump right into surgery. The hesitation is that if there are any lingering cancer cells floating around in the body that are not currently detected on scans, they would be doing Sid a HUGE disservice by doing surgery. If the surgery was done and the cancer were to pop up elsewhere, we wouldn't be able to jump back into chemo until Sid was fully recovered fro...

Again. At a checkup/routine endoscopy they found a tumor again.  Just before Christmas Sid went for his annual endoscopy. What was supposed to be a routine checkup ended up being the second time that we heard the doctors tell us that they found a mass growing in his esophagus. And with "again" comes remembering.  Remembering the agony of hearing "cancer". Remembering the worry and the fear. The panic. Remembering treatments; the heaviness in your gut and on your heart in just getting through each of those days.  Over and over again. And for quite a few days I was stuck there in the devastation.  But slowly I have remembered other things. As more of our neighbors and friends have started hearing the news, I've been reminded of better things. There are people willing and waiting to help.  So many people love our family. I can't even comprehend how so many people could care so much.  We still have each other and there are plenty of moments to see sparks of hap...

I had a good cry about a week ago. It's been a while since I let it all out when thinking about Sid's diagnosis. But as this day (and week) has crept closer all of the memories of this same week, last year, have come flooding back. A year ago today life shifted for us. Honestly, I feel like I've lived 6 years in the past 365 days (give or take some). There's a part of me that wants to try and explain what I was feeling and experiencing; it somehow seems significant to do so, even if just for documentation purposes. But trying to put it into words seems impossible; it's a bit too personal to lay it all out, and at some point it's only really comprehended if you're actually experiencing it. I obviously don't wish that on anyone. But even in reflecting on the gloomy and painful memories I am reminded of many kindnesses. There was, and is, a lot of support and an incredible amount of love. I do love remembering that part.  I also want to express gratitude fo...

Sid and I got to go out for a date night tonight. While we were in the thick of the intense treatments, some amazing friends offered to watch our kids so that we could have a night with just the two of us. I'm sure they intended for us to take that time together much sooner, but we finally took them up on it and celebrated our anniversary a day early.  Dinner was exquisite and then we repeated our first date with a stroll around Utah State's campus. Happy 11 years to us! Each anniversary has been happily commemorated but we were especially grateful for this one. With that in mind, we have GREAT news/results from Sid's CT scan from last week. There were no signs of metastatic disease! In other words, there was no visible detection of cancer. Absolutely incredible. We are obviously over the moon about this. As time goes on we are understanding more and more how unexpected this was. I know I'm being a bit of a wet blanket when I say it's a little bittersweet when we kn...

Last night Sid went to the Huntsman for his scheduled CT scan. This afternoon he spoke with his doctor to discuss the results. Dr. Nevala had mentioned at their last appointment that he was anticipating good things when his next CT appointment came around.  HE WAS RIGHT!!! Everything has continued to shrink; so much so that the lymph node up by his trachea hardly lit up in the scan. He is literally having a "best case scenario" response, or as Dr. Nevala put it, a complete response. In the trial study that Sid's treatment has been based off of, 11% were considered to fall into that category. If it's not broke, don't fix it. So, Sid will stay on his current treatment plan for at least the next year; chemo pills, immuno and targeted therapy infusion every 3 weeks, and regular CT and echocardiogram scans.  So many thoughts are racing through my head. Overall there's just so much gratitude. I should probably take time to more thoroughly record my thoughts somewher...