The Smallest Part Which I Feel

I've got to hand it to all of you. The creativity in the service that has been extended to us is mind blowing. I can not wait to be able to be in the giving end and to challenge myself to rise to your level. It's incredibly humbling to have so many people dig deep and come up with such thoughtful and personal offers. Our spiritual, physical, intellectual, and social needs have all been addressed.

This outpouring of love has got me wondering:

"How did we get blessed with so many incredible people in our lives?"

"I hope to be a friend that is deserving of this kind of love."

"What can I do to be more in tune with Heaven so that I can follow your examples and readily bless others?"

Moroni 7:5

For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.

Moroni 7:12-13

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God...

...that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

Alma 26:16

Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

All of the good you have brought into our lives.... I really cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

Ultimately I wonder to myself, "If so many imperfect but incredible people can make my heart burst and eyes swim, how will I ever comprehend the magnificence of God and the love he has for me?"

Comments

Again

Again. At a checkup/routine endoscopy they found a tumor again. Just before Christmas Sid went for his annual endoscopy. What was supposed to be a routine checkup ended up being the second time that we heard the doctors tell us that they found a mass growing in his esophagus. And with "again" comes remembering. Remembering the agony of hearing "cancer". Remembering the worry and the fear. The panic. Remembering treatments; the heaviness in your gut and on your heart in just getting through each of those days. Over and over again. And for quite a few days I was stuck there in the devastation. But slowly I have remembered other things. As more of our neighbors and friends have started hearing the news, I've been reminded of better things. There are people willing and waiting to help. So many people love our family. I can't even comprehend how so many people could care so much. We still have each other and there are plenty of moments to see sparks of hap...

Sunday Will Come

I had a good cry about a week ago. It's been a while since I let it all out when thinking about Sid's diagnosis. But as this day (and week) has crept closer all of the memories of this same week, last year, have come flooding back. A year ago today life shifted for us. Honestly, I feel like I've lived 6 years in the past 365 days (give or take some). There's a part of me that wants to try and explain what I was feeling and experiencing; it somehow seems significant to do so, even if just for documentation purposes. But trying to put it into words seems impossible; it's a bit too personal to lay it all out, and at some point it's only really comprehended if you're actually experiencing it. I obviously don't wish that on anyone. But even in reflecting on the gloomy and painful memories I am reminded of many kindnesses. There was, and is, a lot of support and an incredible amount of love. I do love remembering that part. I also want to express gratitude fo...

Complete Response

Last night Sid went to the Huntsman for his scheduled CT scan. This afternoon he spoke with his doctor to discuss the results. Dr. Nevala had mentioned at their last appointment that he was anticipating good things when his next CT appointment came around. HE WAS RIGHT!!! Everything has continued to shrink; so much so that the lymph node up by his trachea hardly lit up in the scan. He is literally having a "best case scenario" response, or as Dr. Nevala put it, a complete response. In the trial study that Sid's treatment has been based off of, 11% were considered to fall into that category. If it's not broke, don't fix it. So, Sid will stay on his current treatment plan for at least the next year; chemo pills, immuno and targeted therapy infusion every 3 weeks, and regular CT and echocardiogram scans. So many thoughts are racing through my head. Overall there's just so much gratitude. I should probably take time to more thoroughly record my thoughts somewher...

The business and blessings of our Beckstead family.

Search This Blog