Quick procedures

Sid is weirdly really good at coming out of anesthesia. It's rather disappointing for me as his designated driver; I'd have liked the cheap entertainment. I suppose that should be considered a positive trait, though.

Anyway, his endoscopy to biopsy his lymph node went well yesterday. We won't know anything from that until sometime next week. And his port placement today was simple; also good. He is a bit sore now and has a sweet looking bruise.

Sid's team decided to start chemo next week on Friday. His doctor would like Sid to get an echocardiogram before chemo begins. I'm not entirely sure why, so it's in my list of questions for the next consultation.

In the next couple of days we have a couple of virtual doctor's visits/consultations, and then of course the echo and chemo.

Thank you for caring and praying for us. ❤️

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Again

Again. At a checkup/routine endoscopy they found a tumor again. Just before Christmas Sid went for his annual endoscopy. What was supposed to be a routine checkup ended up being the second time that we heard the doctors tell us that they found a mass growing in his esophagus. And with "again" comes remembering. Remembering the agony of hearing "cancer". Remembering the worry and the fear. The panic. Remembering treatments; the heaviness in your gut and on your heart in just getting through each of those days. Over and over again. And for quite a few days I was stuck there in the devastation. But slowly I have remembered other things. As more of our neighbors and friends have started hearing the news, I've been reminded of better things. There are people willing and waiting to help. So many people love our family. I can't even comprehend how so many people could care so much. We still have each other and there are plenty of moments to see sparks of hap...

Consultations

In the last couple of weeks there have been many consultations with new doctors that are being added to Sid's medical team. They have all been so kind and professional. They have taken great effort to care for Sid; emotionally, physically, intellectually - they have gone to great lengths to make sure we are ready for the fight ahead. Because of Sid's initial Stage 4 diagnosis, surgery wasn't ever supposed to be on the table. But due to a combination of a few factors (I'm not sure I could do it justice here) they proposed trying it with this current tumor. However, the medical team is a little hesitant to just jump right into surgery. The hesitation is that if there are any lingering cancer cells floating around in the body that are not currently detected on scans, they would be doing Sid a HUGE disservice by doing surgery. If the surgery was done and the cancer were to pop up elsewhere, we wouldn't be able to jump back into chemo until Sid was fully recovered fro...

Sunday Will Come

I had a good cry about a week ago. It's been a while since I let it all out when thinking about Sid's diagnosis. But as this day (and week) has crept closer all of the memories of this same week, last year, have come flooding back. A year ago today life shifted for us. Honestly, I feel like I've lived 6 years in the past 365 days (give or take some). There's a part of me that wants to try and explain what I was feeling and experiencing; it somehow seems significant to do so, even if just for documentation purposes. But trying to put it into words seems impossible; it's a bit too personal to lay it all out, and at some point it's only really comprehended if you're actually experiencing it. I obviously don't wish that on anyone. But even in reflecting on the gloomy and painful memories I am reminded of many kindnesses. There was, and is, a lot of support and an incredible amount of love. I do love remembering that part. I also want to express gratitude fo...

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